I’m super tired and it’s late, but I want to write this right now because I might forget tomorrow. Soo… on Wednesday morning while I was at my internship, I get a call from a girl named Rose, she is from Pacific Crossroads church and she had gotten my number from this christian babysitters list that someone from PCC had made. Although today was the Lakers game, the big UCLA UW game AND KCM I offered to babysit because she sounded pretty desperately in need because of some last minute changes. (I actually have never babysat for this community group but I have babysat for other CGs, PCC has 90 CGs… pretty insane O.O)
So today I went to a girl named Christine’s house in ktown at 7PM to babysit a boy named James while everyone else had their CG. Today was actually the first day I had ever met a boy that was three and still couldn’t speak. He didn’t say one word to me throughout the whole time I babysat him and it was pretty challenging to interact with him. But it was a good learning experience, I know all kids are different and learn at different paces.
Once everyone had left except the single ladies, we sat around in the living room talking (especially because Rose is getting married next weekend! : ) How exciting!). Me at 20 years old, Esther Kim at 27, Christine at 30, Esther Ro at 32 and Rose at 35, we had a big range of women in the room.
I asked Rose to share the story of how her and Mike had met. She begun with a background of herself: Rose had an older brother who had died at the age of 4 because he was run over by a car. But Rose saw that as a gift from God because she wouldn’t have been born if he were still alive. (Her parents kept trying to have more kids because they wanted another son). Rose truly saw that her life was a gift from God. Rose also was engaged before she had met Mike, but her ex-fiance ended up breaking her heart last minute. She saw all of this as a part of God’s providence, because if it weren’t for all of this, she wouldn’t have met Mike.
Background story on Mike: Mike’s former wife passed away when they were both 31, 8 years ago. Although this brought so much heartache to Mike, they both saw that this was also part of God’s glorious and perfect plan.
When Mike and Rose had met, they instantly knew that God was planning everything that has happened in their lives from the day they were born until the day they would make their bonds to become one. Their heart for the Lord and their obedience and patience to His timing amazed me.
All three of the other women shared their lives with me as well, but another thing that stuck out to me was something Esther Ro had shared. And that was the fact that she had never gone on a single date in her 33 years of living. But what truly amazed me was the fact that she was completely and utterly content and happy with the life she was living. Not because she is an independent woman, not because she is a woman that abhors marriage, but because she is a woman of God that was certain that God was planning something special for her. She trusted completely and 100% in His good and perfect plan. She also said, “I don’t get why I would just go around dating random guys if I know that I’m not going to marry them. I really see no point in that. I want to date the man I’m going to marry. It’s simple as that”.
All four of these women said “wow Esther, you make us feel like we’re in college again!” haha I truly enjoyed spending time with them and sharing my life with them as well. It’s so crazy because there are people that I’ve known for almost my whole life, that I wouldn’t be able to share certain things with, but I had only known these women for a couple of hours and I was already pouring out my heart to them. These are the moments when I realize that there is nothing greater than the power of God’s love that can bond people together. They say blood is thicker than water, but I say Jesus’ blood has made all of His daughters.
I am being that little bitter and immature girl again… I pity myself and think… why… why do I have to watch people indulge in their sin and be the one that has to get hurt and pay for the consequences. And I think to myself, this is why it’s harder to trust people and this is why I stop giving the benefit of the doubt. But then I think to myself.. isn’t that what Jesus essentially did for me? He died on the cross for me, knowing that maybe this little girl named Esther Park will choose to follow me. Maybe, she’ll reject me and hurt me. But even if there’s a small chance that she would believe in me, I will die for her. I will die the most embarrassing and excruciating death so that she may be able to see how much I love her. I should really take out the log in my own eye before I point out other people’s specs huh?
I look back at all the trials God has placed in my life in the past, and I look at them and say.. wow PRAISE GOD. I just pray that even during the times of trials, that I’d be able to look past the wordly pain and rejoice because I know God is only putting me through the fire to make me into a stronger woman of God. So I ask that you will pray for me to look beyond these petty things and remember that our life today is only a “prologue” to the best story that has yet to come.
I am thankful for all of you, my brothers and sisters that help me to see that I am a bigger sinner today than I was yesterday.
Okay, I already feel better now. Hope everyone is finding Christ in the midst of your midterms and other life struggles! He longs to be the center of your attention! : )
He keepeth all his bones; not one of them is broken. (Psalm 34:20)
This promise by the context is referred to the much afflicted righteous man: “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” He may suffer skin wounds and flesh wounds, but no great harm shall be done; “not a bone of him shall be broken.”
This is great comfort to a tried child of God, and comfort which I dare accept; for up to this hour I have suffered no real damage from my many afflictions. I have neither lost faith, nor hope, nor love. Nay so far from losing these bones of character, they have gained in strength and energy. I have more knowledge, more experience, more patience, more stability than I had before the trials came. Not even my joy has been destroyed. Many a bruise have I had by sickness, bereavement, depression, slander, and opposition; but the bruise has healed, and there has been no compound fracture of a bone, not even a simple one. The reason is not far to seek. If we trust in the Lord, He keeps all our bones; and if He keeps them, we may be sure that not one of them is broken.
Come, my heart, do not sorrow. Thou art smarting, but there are no bones broken. Endure hardness and bid defiance to fear.
“Reminding ourselves of the gospel is the most important daily habit we can establish. If the gospel is the most vital news in the world, and if salvation by grace is the defining truth of our existence, we should create ways to immerse ourselves in the these truths every day.”
CJ Mahaney Cross-Centered life.
Your day can’t be sweeter than when you wake up and preach the gospel to yourself. Some days are harder than others to wake up, and I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m having a hard time… mornings are always the worst for me. You wake up with this deep sense of loss and loneliness. But when I’m reminded of what God has given up for ME, it starts my day with the depth of Christ’s undying and rich love. Because really, why would He die for someone like me? So dirty.. worthless… inadequate and unfaithful. When I begin to think of Jesus.. everything else in this world gets so much smaller…
This photo may be funny but.. reminded to preach the gospel to MYSELF daily!
“We are chosen as an afflicted people and not as a prosperous people, chosen not in the palace but in the furnace. In the furnace beauty is marred, fashion is destroyed, strength is melted, glory is consumed, and yet here eternal love reveals its secrets and declares its choice. So has it been in our case. In times of severest trial God has made to us our calling and election plain, and we have made it sure: then have we chosen the Lord to be our God, and He has shown that we are assuredly His chosen. Therefore, if today the furnace be heated seven times hotter, we will not dread it, for the glorious Son of God will walk with us amid the glowing coals.”
Amazing man of God. I can’t stop reading this!
“For he himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”
- To you my sister and brother who is struggling
You probably don’t know the impurity of the mentally high
will only cause you more and more to spiritually die?
You say these tools so help you to see
the Father, Son, Spirit, complete trinity.
But this is a lame excuse to feel sexually…
This year.. it’s hard for us to pay for retreat… I won’t be able to buy many Christmas presents.. and I won’t even be going home for the holidays.
But you know what? God is good.. he mysteriously provides for those who are in need!
“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” -Matthew 6:26
We ignore Him everyday of our lives. We laugh at His very name. We scoff at those who follow Him.
And yet, He is arguably the most important man who ever lived. A man who has had more impact on the world than any other before, or after Him.
There has been more written, composed, sung and created about Jesus Christ than any other figure in history. No one has left a legacy greater than His, yet He never wrote a book or travelled that far in the short period of time that He lived. He was a penniless man from Nazareth.
In today’s age we have more science, technology, media, entertainment and distraction than ever before - and yet the importance of the Gospel has never been superceded. There are now more Christians in the world today than ever in it’s history and it is still growing as more and more people around the world hear of the Good News and accept it.
He is the very center of history itself. He is that important.